I had an ah ha moment. It was realizing I still had 3/4 of a giant (4.25 oz) chocolate bar. Normally I would have finished the whole thing in a day. When I saw it the other day, I had almost forgotten I had it. I tried to remember what day exactly I got it. I had to go back in my food journal to see when it showed up. I bought it a week ago today and had 2 pieces of it that night. Plus I still have a dozen mini brownies I baked on the 22nd,those are in the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind. It showed me that my mindset is changing. I love chocolate just as much as before, but I can be satisfied with a small amount. I really can have just a taste. The second bite of cake or pie doesn't taste any better than the first.
I don't particularly care for oatmeal. I know it's good for you and I have a large container of oatmeal so I'd better use it. Letting it go bad wouldn't be very frugal of me. I had heard great things about baked oatmeal so I decided I would try it. I divided the recipe in half since I'm the only one who would really eat it. The roomie despises anything halfway healthy. I used 1% milk instead of soymilk and brown sugar instead of maple syrup since that's what I have on hand. I also added 2 Tbsp of Splenda, 1/8 cup brown sugar didn't seem like much. It was pretty good. I didn't care for the raisins. I might make this again with a few tweaks. There are other recipes for baked oatmeal I will try out.
I had a really bad dream last night. In it I was weighing myself and somehow I weighed 252. It gives me chills just thinking about it.
Today is Monday which means weigh in. Today I'm at 230. Total lost so far 10 lbs. I'm not sure why I'm not happier about it. Maybe because I've done this before. Losing 10 lbs I can do. I've done it dozens of times. Keeping it off and continuing to lose is the real challenge. I know I'll be really excited when I get to 215. That number I haven't seen in more than 6 years.
To those of you who read this, Thank You! This blog started as a way to keep track of my progress. A place I can put pics and stats. Somewhere I can vent about the skinny b*tches who drink half a milkshake then complain about being bad cause they are so fat. Since I know people actually read this thing, I feel accountable. I feel supported. I know I'm not alone in my struggles to lose weight and become healthier. Maybe with my blog I will inspire someone to make the change in their own life to become healthier. Other blogs made me realize it's not going to happen overnight, I don't need to spend 6 hours at the gym everyday, I don't need a personal chef and a personal trainer, I will slip up but I only fail if I don't get back up.
Most of all I know people are watching me and I can't quit.