Friday, August 7, 2009

went missing

I haven't posted in over a month, seems longer. I had been feeling pretty lousy. I went to the doctor and found out that my thyroid is not working properly again and I'm severely anemic. I'm back on my meds and I'm finally starting to feel normal.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Inches

Beginning inches (11/08) ...........April 20 ...........................June 23
Waist........ 46 .............................45 1/2 ..........................42 1/2 Waist
Hips.......... 45 ................................44 ...............................41 1/2 Hips
Bust.......... 44 .............................43 1/2 ..........................41 Bust
Chest........ 42 1/2 ......................41 1/2 .........................39 1/2 Chest
above knee....19 ........................19 ................................17 1/2 Knee
Upper thigh.... 26 ......................25 ................................23 Upper thigh
Upper arm.. 15 .........................14 1/2 .........................13 Upper arm
Neck............ 17 .........................16 3/4 ..........................16 1/2 Neck
Total.................254.5 ..................249 3/4 ............................234.5 TOTAL


Beginning BMI was 37.6 ..............BMI 33.7 ...........................BMI 32.1

Same old, same old

I've been stuck at 205 since the first of June. In my rational brain I know that it's going to be harder to lose weight. A 240 lb body burns more calories than a 205 lb body when doing the same thing. So I feel the need to change what I've been doing. I went to the library yesterday and got several books. I think, no I know I need to add in more exercises. So far I've been walking 98% of the time for exercise. I've messed around with some free weights I have a few times.

I decided the other day I'm going to focus on the positive. I walked today for an hour. The route I take is getting easier to do. I am still losing inches. Shirts that used to be quite snug are so loose it's comical. It's been years, at least 10, since I've weighed 205. I may slip, have off days, eat things I shouldn't, and not walk or exercise for several days...but I will never let myself go back to being a 240 lb junk food eating couch potato!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Monday

Monday weigh in...no change. Still at 205. I had a cheat day and I haven't been walking as much. I rained here most of last week. I have to kick it up a notch. What I've been doing to lose weight isn't going to be as effective now that I've lost 35 lbs.
On a happy note, my friend Crystal has been walking with me and today is day 1 for her diet. Having a partner is going to keep both of us motivated.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Monday

Hollie's challenge is a super motivator to walk everyday. I walked two separate times today. Went out once with Crystal and Rock. They were very ready to be done after an hour. I still felt great so I went back out for another hour...2 hours just today! So far, I've walked 3 days out of 5 that count for the challenge. And I've logged 265 minutes.
I weighed in this morning...no change. I expect a really good loss next week.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Happy dance

I got renewed motivation to walk. Hollie has started a walking challenge. From June 4 thru Aug 4, whoever logs the most minutes walking gets a $50 gift certificate. I really could use $50 bucks to buy new clothes. I walked 1 hour and 25 minutes today. I got an Ipod for my birthday and I love it! I feel like I could walk forever when I have a good song playing.
I went yesterday and got new shoes for work. I decided to look for new jeans too while I was there. My old size 20's were falling off...seriously! I picked up a size 18, went and tried them on. They weren't quite right. I asked my friend Crystal to go find a 16. She came back, I tried those on, buttoned them, zipped them. The fit!! And I could breath and sit. I did a happy dance all the way out the store and to the car. Last night as I laid in bed I was still smiling thinking about it.

I went to the store and bought a pair of size 16 jeans and they fit!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Monday weigh in

Short and sweet...weighed in this morning at 205....5 more and I'll be in Onederville!
Off to work now.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Back on the right track

I don't know how many days I've been 100% back on the plan I made for myself. But I'm back on track and feeling great. My sister got married yesterday. I was a beautiful wedding. I didn't have any wedding cake. I might have if it had been chocolate. But I'm not about to break my diet for white cake with white icing.
I moved almost 2 weeks ago and I'm still trying to get things put away and get into a routine again. I haven't been walking as much as I should but I'll get there.

Weigh in tomorrow. I expect a good number. At the very least I want the 3 lbs I gained back with the birthday blow out to be gone again. Fingers crossed!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Trying to get back on solid ground

So much has happened since my last post. I had a birthday, I finally got the insurance money from my car wreck in Jan, I moved. I had decided I was going to go off my diet for my birthday. But I ended up eating poorly and off plan the day before and I'm still not back to where I was. It's been 2 weeks. So far today I'm doing good. I plan on walking with the dog and exploring my new neighborhood today before I have to work.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

New Pics





Finally got new pics. I can see a difference. I'm a 1/3 of the way to my goal.

Monday, May 4, 2009

monday weigh in

I only got in one walk this week. My lower back has been killing me. I don't know why. I probably need new shoes but I got new insoles instead so we'll see if that helps. So it's no surprise that I only managed a 3 lb loss this week. Nothing bad about losing 3 pounds. But I know I could have done better.
Weight today 207. Total lost so far...33 lbs.
I really need to get progress pics taken. I think a friend is helping me do that tomorrow.
I had a really great weekend...off work today and tomorrow...gotta clean house and whatnot

Monday, April 27, 2009

monday weigh in

I had so much fun Saturday night and yesterday. We stayed up late watching movies and horsing around. Sunday we had a cook out and played badminton and board games. It was the most fun I've had in a while. I can't wait to do it again. Several people told me yesterday that I need a new pic on myspace because it doesn't really look like me anymore. I can tell in my face, in my hips, in my thighs, in my waist that I've lost.
This week I have been doing so good with the plan I set for myself. So when I got on the scale this morning I had a number in my head that I wanted to see. I told myself I wouldn't be upset if I wasn't there just yet. Got on the scale........


I was not disappointed. :) :) :) :) :) Weighed in today at 210. :) Total lost so far 30 lbs!! :)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Saturday :)

3 miles today, 3 miles yesterday, 3 miles Thursday. Tomorrow I hope to get a walk in. I'm supposed to spend the night with friends tonight. I'm going to try to talk them into walking around their block. We'll see if it happens.
Some days I struggle with eating enough food...Oh the irony. I'm just not hungry like I used to be. Tuesday I was nearly done with my walk, I was about 1/2 block from home and I got really lightheaded. I felt like I was going to pass out. Got home ok, checked my sugar, and it was really low. I've been doing great with drinking all my water, 3 liters a day.
I'm can't wait for Monday to get here. I took a sneak peek yesterday and I'm really happy.
If I continue kickin ass like this, I should have no problem getting into Onederville by my birthday. :) :) :)
Time to hit the shower and get ready for work.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thursday

Just checking in since it's been a few days. Monday I walked 2 miles in 44 minutes. Tuesday I found this site and changed up the route and walked 2.36 miles in 45 minutes. Wed I talked myself out of walking because it was cold and rainy outside. Today I walked 3 miles in 62 minutes. First mile I took Rock and we finished in 22 minutes. We're improving.
Goal for Friday and Saturday is 3 miles each day. The weather is supposed to be beautiful here.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday weigh in

Wednesday I made bad food choices. Thursday I was determined to get back at it...to plan meals and snacks better, to not make things I shouldn't have, etc.
Thursday was great, Friday even though work was insanely busy, I still did good.
Saturday work was beyond insane and hectic. But I still stuck with it and didn't cave to the pressure to eat my way through the stress. Sunday, again were super busy and I had several difficult people within the first 20 minutes, and I was hungry since I got up late and didn't have a proper breakfast. But I did grab almonds and string cheese on my way out of the house and that held me over.

I need to get my camera back and take progress pics. Since I can't do that at the moment I decided I should remeasure.

Beginning inches were

Waist........ 46
Hips.......... 45
Bust.......... 44
Chest........ 42 1/2
above knee....19
Upper thigh.... 26
Upper arm.. 15
Neck............ 17
Total.............................254.5

Current inches are
Waist...45 1/2
Hips...44
Bust...43 1/2
Chest...41 1/2
Above knee...19
upper thigh..25
upper arm...14 1/2
neck...16 3/4
Total..........................249 3/4

For a difference of 4 3/4 inches. FYI arm and leg measurements I only counted one. I do have two arms and two legs though.

Beginning BMI was 37.6
Current BMI is........33.7

Another 25 lbs and I'll be overweight instead of obese. Whoohoo, can't wait.
Nothing to write home about but it's progress none the less.
And now for the moment we've all been waiting for.
Monday...Official weigh in....214 lbs.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Confession

Yesterday I fell of the wagon. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'd say it was a combination of not being prepared and being frustrated/irritated.
I had made cookies to bring to work, plus I already had brownies that I really wanted to get out of my house. So I brought it all to work for everyone else. I neglected to bring something that I could have. On top of that I was having a bad day. I'm nearly maxed out on all my credit cards. I checked one yesterday and I'm over my limit due to them adding my annual fee this month. I feel like I can't win with the darn things. I'm not getting ahead.
Plus I think I'm a little jealous of the roomie. Quick recap...he and I used to be together. We broke up and neither of us can afford to live alone. So now we share a 2 bedroom apartment. We haven't been together for months. He has a new girlfriend already, just met her like a week ago.

But my tumble from the wagon was not as bad as it could have been.

I had 3 small cookies, a brownie and a sandwich on regular white bread at work. I stopped at the store on my way home from work. I was going to get more bad/sugary stuff to eat. I have really been wanting those orange sherbet push ups. Don't know why. But as I was looking for them I thought 'Why are you turning this into a full blown binge? A few cookies is not the end of the world'. I couldn't find them anyway and I didn't get anything else.
I woke up this morning with a headache...like a sugar hangover. But there will be no hair of the dog for me! LOL

Monday, April 13, 2009

Monday Weigh-In

I stepped on the scale right after I rolled out of bed. My eyes were still blurry and it was hard to focus. But I'm sure it said...


215 lbs !!
I love the way I feel when I totally eliminate sugar. I have more energy, I don't constantly feel hungry, my cravings for sugar are gone. I am a sugar addict in recovery.
The roomie tried to entice me with candy he had bought and I wasn't even the least bit tempted. I also mixed up a box of brownies for him (he's severely challenged in the kitchen) and I didn't take even the tiniest taste. I did however have a sugar free chocolate pudding cup after I was done.
Headed out right now for a stroll with the dog. Later I'm going to the movies with Smith and friends.

Friday, April 10, 2009

It's Friday and I'm sore

No walk today....yet. I had an appointment early this morning. Then when I came out it was raining. If it clears up before I have to go to work I'll head out for a mile or two.
Last night I was really wishing I had started off slower. Too much too soon and I was so sore last night. My back, my legs, even my arms and shoulders hurt. The soreness wasn't all from walking though. The roomie and I have been in the process of switching bedrooms for almost a week now. I was off work yesterday so I finished it up, washed all the sheets and remade both beds. I slept so good last night too.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

*gasp*....Two days in a row!

When the alarm went off this morning, I really didn't want to get up. Rock was giving me 'the look', so I had to let him out. Since I was up I thought I might as well get dressed. Well, when I let the dog back in he saw I had regular clothes and shoes on, so he started bouncing around. He loves to go out. Same as yesterday the first mile took me 25 minutes. I took Rock back home and went for one more. The 2nd mile took me 19 minutes. I will get 2 more miles in later since I don't work today.
For lunch at work yesterday, I had a salad so beautiful some of my co-workers were envious.
One woman I work with keeps telling me I don't need to lose any more weight. If she brings in cookies or candy and tries to make me lose my focus, I'll smack her......just kidding.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

3 miles

I had decided a day or two ago that I really needed to kick things into high gear. The first 20 lbs was lost so slowly it was hardly noticed. I started this journey before Thanksgiving. Through the holidays my weight went up and down like a yo yo.
I have a birthday coming up soon and I want to be close to having another 20 lbs gone before I hit 31. So to get things rolling, I'm giving up sugar, bread, pasta, and potatoes for a month. And if the weather* stays decent I am going to walk a mile or two or three most days of the week.
Yesterday I ate food so good I didn't even miss the bread or fries.
I got up early today, got dressed, shoes on, got the dog and walked. I did the first mile in about 25 minutes. I dropped the dog off back at home, he was worn out after one mile. 20 minutes each for the 2nd and 3rd mile. Now I'm worn out, but it feels good.



*It snowed here yesterday. It pretty much melted right away. but still SNOW!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

New low

I had a wonderful NSV yesterday. I went to work and not one but two of my co-workers said I really looked like I had lost quite a bit of weight. I see the number on the scale slowly go down, I feel better, I have more energy than before, and I know everyday I'm aware of what I put in my mouth. But I don't think I look like I've lost weight. It got me wondering if I had lost more. I don't weigh myself often. I hate the scale. If I were to get on everyday I would expect to see the number go down everyday. And then when it doesn't I get disappointed and want to give up.
But this morning I stepped on and got a new lower number than the last time....which is always a good thing.

Drum roll please....220 lbs this morning. 20 lbs lost, 20 more until I'm under 200. I haven't been under 200 since high school unless you want to count the time I had the flu and didn't eat for a week. I got under 200 until I got my appetite back.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Slowly gettin there

Happy St. Patty's Day!

I weighed in this morning at 222. It's slow but it's still going down. In some ways I think it's better this way. Still I can't help longing for some fast dramatic results.

I made a really good veggie soup with lentils the other day. I had never had lentils before and I like them.

On the financial front I'm really optimistic about a new job prospect. I went Friday and applied. I talked to the woman there for about half an hour. It's a heath care job so I have to get a TB test, a background check, and my CPR and first aid renewed. My CPR is not yet expired but it's close enough that I might as well renew it now.
I really want and need this job. It's close enough so I could walk, more hours and more money.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Haven't quit yet

The last month has been crazy. I wrote about wrecking my car. Well finally just the other day the insurance company called and yesterday the guy came to appraise the damage. The good news is I'm getting a check for $1600, the bad news is they are totalling my car. So I have to find a new car. They did authorize a rental car until Sunday so I can get to work. I should be able to find another car fairly quickly.
The roomie was planning on moving to Michigan. The one Walmart he called didn't have any open positions so he decided not to move. The friends he was going to move in with up there moved down here. They are staying with us until they find jobs and a house. Then at the end of the month all of them will be living together in a house somewhere else.
It feels like I have 10 million things I have to do before the end of the month and it's overwhelming.
The weight loss is at a stand still. Not losing anything but not gaining any either. So I guess that's good. The weather is supposed to be nice today. I think it's supposed to get up to 60. I will make time to walk today.
I will get back to weight loss after things calm down here. I just can't do it right now.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Gettin it done

Today was payday. I got up early to go get my check and cash it. Got a money order to send a big payment to one of the credit cards.
I paid my half of the rent. I bought dog food and groceries for me. Put gas in the car and now I'm practically broke again. I spent less on my groceries than anything else. It's kinda funny in a way.
I almost got a 12 pack of Ramen. It was in my cart for about 5 minutes before I put it back. I don't want to be the kind of broke/poor person who lives on Ramen. Plus it's not healthy, way way too much sodium, and how do you pack almost 400 calories into a package of noodles?!?
I got some spinach and frozen stir fry veggie mix, ground turkey(1/2 the price of ground beef!), another pack of yeast, and a couple of other things. I have chicken, cheese, and burrito wraps left from the last shopping trip. Plus beans, rice, and pasta from who knows how long ago.
No work for me tomorrow. I need to get housework caught up. I will bake bread and I'm going to attempt to make homemade refried beans so I can use up the rest of those wraps. I also need to plan a menu for the next 2 weeks.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Monday Monday

I was off from work today which meant I had a million things to get done at home. I didn't get a lot accomplished. My neck hurts! It hurts to turn my head to the left and if I sit a certain way the pain goes down the left side of my back. Either I slept wrong someway or it's a delayed pain related to the fender bender I was in last Tuesday.
We had a lot of snow and I went out Tues morning to run errands. I wasn't even a block from home when some guy backed out onto the street. I hit the brakes but it did no good. The snow was packed down and it was SLICK. Ran right into him. Did more damage to my car. Broke the headlight, dented the hood and front quarter panel on the drivers side. On his truck it just jammed the bumper up under the truck bed. My car still runs ok. I gotta get someone to pound out the quarter panel because when I turn the wheel very far it rubs. Now...sooner rather than later I have to get another car. I hadn't planned on keeping it forever anyway...maybe a year. Or until I was in a position financially to buy a newer car. I have to start saving up to get another car and I still owe my sister money for this one. Sigh.
I went out and got a couple of application turned in. I really really have to have a second job. My roomie told me last week that he plans on being gone next month. He wants me to pay him back before he goes. It might get done. I need to get the utilities put in my name before he goes too.
It's times like these I wish I had a long lost forgotten uncle leave me a small inheritance.

I started a menu for the upcoming week. I have a grocery list started. I feel very fortunate to have so many stores to choose from, at the same time it makes it a little harder to get things done. Within 10 miles I have Kroger, Walmart, IGA, Fas Chek, and Aldi.
I love (LOVE) Aldi for the basic stuff...cereal, rice, pasta, flour, sugar, milk, eggs, etc. Aldi also had decent produce. I'm skeptical about their meat. I bought a roast there last year and it was very fatty.
I was reading up on container gardening today. I would love to grow some of my own veggies this summer. I attempted a garden years ago when I was first married. Our first place was a trailer in the country. I started a small garden. I planted cantaloupe, zucchini, tomato, bell peppers and carrots(I think). The zucchini did well. Just before we moved (late August), the cantaloupe had finally come around. They were about golf ball size. I caught quite a few rabbits in my little patch of dirt. I'm blaming the rabbits for the failure of the garden as a whole.
I need to figure out what I want to plant soon so I can get my seeds started.
If anyone has had success with a container garden and has any helpful hints I'd very much appreciate it.
I get paid later this week and I will be sending out a big payment to one of my credit cards. That will get them caught up. I have 3 cards and I'm over the limit on 2 of them. The other one I'm less than $100 from my limit. It will feel so good when I get my balance back down to ZERO!
I weighed in Saturday...224,only one pound lost. Hey it's better than gaining.
My debt and weight be warned...You're going down!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Well how do you like that?

Frugality has been a way of life for me for a very long time. I don't remember a time growing up when we had any more than just barely enough. I do remember things like searching the house for loose change so we could pay the electric bill, church people bring food over, getting boxes of food from the food bank, and getting scolded for going to the ER in an ambulance because I fell on ice in the 6th grade and knocked myself out.
On second thought maybe those aren't examples of frugality. More correctly it's just being poor. My family didn't eat very healthy. So my opinion has been to eat healthy and lose weight I have to spend a lot of money. But I'm changing my mind! You can eat healthy food on a tight budget.
Oatmeal is so so cheap, so are beans, lentils and rice. I baked bread earlier this week and I have yet to figure out the difference in cost between store bought and my 2 loaves of yummy goodness. But I will.
Split chicken breast was on sale last week at 2 different stores...99c / lb. I got a little over 9 lbs of chicken. 1/3 of it went in the crock pot overnight and got shredded the next morning. I now have a large container of chicken that will be used for many chicken burritos with homemade spanish rice, had it last night for dinner. Very good, my compliments to the chef!
Something funny about the chicken. When boneless skinless chicken is on sale for 1.99/ lb, you are lucky to find a few packages left after a couple of days. I went Thursday night, very near the end of the sale, and the chicken had barely been touched. Skin and bone doesn't account for much of the weight and I only put in 5 more minutes of effort.
The frugal side of me is helping the lose weight and get healthy side of me. I went to the store last night to get a little can of tomato sauce for the spanish rice. I went by the Reece's eggs, 2/$1. My first thought was what could it hurt to get one. Then it was one is never enough. Next time I'm in there I'll want to get another one. And if I want something chocolate I have hot cocoa mix at the house. I also have everything I need to bake a cake or brownies.
I've spent $28 on food so far. I still need to get milk (1/2 gal-2/$3) and 3 dz eggs (18ct-3/$5). Even after that, I'll be under $35. With everything I already had and things I bought, I have enough to last me until next payday.

I'm going to really try to not eat at work. Being allowed to eat and put it on a tab is too convenient. The food was good but I would not normally choose a $5 sandwich or get a $4 sub and fries and cheese sticks. I paid my tab yesterday and it was almost $20. This is after my 50% employee discount too by the way. I got by just fine without eating at work Friday. Tried to do it again yesterday and got yelled at by both managers. "You have to eat." "You can't work 6 or 7 hours and not eat." My pleas of "I'm not hungry" and "I ate right before I came in" went by ignored.

And one final note. I got on the scale this morning, down to 225. Well how do you like that?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Pound For Pound Challenge Widget

Pound For Pound Challenge

Found this challenge through eatbetteramerica.com. For every pound you pledge to lose between now and May 5th at the latest, they will donate 10 cents to feed the hungry. A little extra incentive never hurt.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Still alive

I haven't posted in so long because I'm not really working on weight loss right now. I haven't regained it all either. Still hoovering at 230.
I'm still looking for a second job. I have yet to take the state test to get my CNA certification. I missed the one in Dec I was scheduled for because I didn't have a way to get there. Now I have to pay for the test myself and I just don't have $100 sittin around right now. I plan on going to a couple of the nursing homes close to me and apply for a job. Maybe (fingers crossed, hopin and prayin) they need CNA's badly enough they would be willing to sponsor me and pay for the test. It's worth a shot anyway.
Payday is tomorrow finally and I have my shopping list ready. It's a small list. The frugal side of me says I should use up what I already have. Most of it is good stuff anyway. I had yesterday off and I baked bread. There is nothing in this world like homemade bread fresh from the oven. I have one packet of yeast left and I'll do it again when I get another day off. I have walnuts and 2 cans of pumpkin left from holiday baking. I'll probably make pumpkin bread too my next day off. Pumpkin bread and a hot cup of tea sound like great breakfast to me.
Before long I'll be in a position to give 110% to weight loss efforts again.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I feel pretty, oh so pretty

First I gotta brag about my very first real NSV. I went to Walmart after work last night to get a few things. I finally got my car yesterday and I didn't have license plate screws. I think those are kinda important...maybe. So got those and a few other car related accessories. I went to find a scarf I had spied when I was there before. Right across the aisle, I saw a clearance rack. I, like most women I suspect, can't simply walk past clothes on sale. I have been wanting/needing another pair of black pants for work. I found one pair in a size 16. I got them, took them home, and tried them on. Holy crap...THEY FIT! They are ever so slightly a bit more snug than I'm used to, but considering the pants I wear to work now threaten to fall off every 10 minutes...I think it'll be OK.
I went today and got my hair cut. Needed that done so very badly. I've went to the same stylist for 2 1/2 years, I love her. I always just get a trim. I've had the same hair style forever. All one length, like an old hippie. (BTW, I love old hippies) Today she asked me what we were doing. I told her I needed a change. I'm all about change. Finally filed for divorce Tues, going back to school soon, losing weight, etc. I told her do whatever you want. She cut 3 or 4 inches, angled the ends around my face, added a few layers, and flat ironed it. I LOVE IT!
I love getting my hair done. The only thing more indulgent and relaxing would be a massage.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Hit the reset button...continued

OK where was I...oh yeah...OK.
I gained back 4 lbs. No worries...it'll be gone again before long.
I've been saving to buy my own car. My roomie is moving out in a couple of months and I have to have a car before he goes. So in an effort to save as much as possible he was buying all the food. I didn't feel entitled to ask for anything special so there was a lot of frozen pizzas, burritos, you know guy food. We went out for chinese twice in the past two weeks. But in a week I will finally have my car. So after next week I will take control of the grocery shopping again. I'm a control freak so I will make time to plan a weekly menu for myself instead of trying to come up with a dinner that fits my plan every night. He thinks it's a waste of time and food to cook one thing for him and something different for myself. But I don't care what he thinks. He's overweight also but has no desire to change...I do!

I'm going to be an aunt again. My youngest sister, Melissa, is pregnant again. This will be her 4th. She and her husband split right after Easter last year. She's been with this new guy since Sept. If I could clone him I would. He's so close to being the perfect man, it's scary. He opens doors, cooks, cleans, has a steady job, and whatever my sister wants she gets. She is so spoiled. He surprised her at his family's Christmas party. Santa was there and all the kids took turns sitting on Santa's lap. After the kids were done, he sat on Santa's lap. Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. He said he wanted Melissa to marry him. They had talked about getting married but she didn't know when he was going to propose or how he was going to do it.

Hit the reset button

I can't find the words that express how freakin happy I am that Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year are behind us. I gave in to the very tempting goodies. I caved to the stress of holiday shopping, family crisis, work issues, and the growing stack of bills. My lowest point was standing at the kitchen sink eating a big bowl of plain spagetti at 3 am. Yeah that's gonna help me sleep.
I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) so that doesn't help me. A couple of years ago it was so bad I thought my husband was going to commit me. I worked overnight, never saw the sun and I cried everynight when I was getting ready for work. The year after that wasn't as bad. I had normal hours at work. But I still went to the doctor and started Zoloft. That helped a lot.
Now I know a few things I can do that helps. Everyday as soon as I get up I'm opening curtains, raise the blinds on the kitchen door and stand there soaking up the sunlight while the dog does his thing. Exercise helps, I know I'm not walking enough to lose weight right now. But a 15 minute stroll around the block with the dog helps drive away the winter blues.
Things are lookin up. I'm close to finishing up two things that have been holding me back in other areas of my life.
I have more to say but I have to get ready for work...Yippie.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!