Saturday, December 20, 2008

Early Weigh In

Ok so it's Saturday. But I thought just for the heck of it I'd weigh in today. I usually sneak a peek a few days before anyway. But I was so surprised by today's number I had to write.

This past week has been crazy and busy. Monday I went all over shopping. Unfortunately I found nothing for myself. No I take that back I did buy myself some perfume I like. I have the knock off version, but I'm lovin the real thing. I looked for pants for work and only found one pair that I half way liked. Cute but not for work. I would've been in heaven if I had found a coat. I have a coat but it's not my style anymore. I want a nice grown up wool coat. Maybe next year.

Now the weigh in....Got on the scale for a sneak peek. Weighed in at 226. Very pleasantly surprised since I haven't been keeping track of my food as well as I know I should.

Happy Holidays to everyone!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday Weigh In

Finally gathered the courage to get on the scale. Wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Weighed in this morning at 232. Totally OK with that.
Had a Christmas get together for work last night. That went well. I had a ham sandwich with lettuce and tomato and some veggies. And since I worked before the party I was way to tired to get up for seconds.
Going shopping with my sister and Grandma today. Will burn lots of calories walkin around the stores.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Finally the week is over...almost

What a week. I'm exhausted. The last day I had off was Friday I think. It's been so long ago I've about forgotten. I'm off work tomorrow because I have my state test to take. I have to be there at 8 am. Yikes! And of course I work tonight. *Kicking myself for not asking for Friday (today) off too* Sometime before Sunday I need to make a few things for the holiday party at work.
Monday I'm off and I'm going Christmas shopping with my sister and grandma. The only things I can think of that I want/need are pants for work, a scarf and gloves.
I've been half azzing it on the eating right and exercise front. Monday when I finally have a bit of down time I'm going to sit down and figure out a plan in detail. My goals are too loose and vague. My idea that I'll just eat less junk and more fruit and veggies just isn't cutting it.
Gotta go study for my test. Wish me luck, cross your fingers and say a little prayer.

Monday, December 8, 2008


It's Monday, the day I usually weigh in, and I forgot. I was so sick early this morning. I don't know what caused it. After getting up the third time, I turned off my alarm when I crawled back into bed. I woke up with just enough time get dressed to ride to work with the roomie so I can have the car to get to work later. I feel a little queasy still. I nibbled on a few crackers and drank some crystal light. I'll probably take chicken noodle soup with me to work.
Today was going to be great too. I was in bed a little after 1am. I had my alarm set for 9:30. I was going to get something done. Oh well, it's just a small set back. I'll be back at it soon enough.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

No More Excuses

I can rationalize my way into or out of anything. It's too cold to walk outside, I don't have time to exercise, it's wasteful to throw away food so I'll just eat it.
Well folks...It's time to put on my big girl panties and deal with it!
There is no reason I have to stay up until 4 am. Yes I work evenings, but even the latest I've ever come home is midnight.
My goal is to be in bed no later than 2 am. Get up and move my body before work. No more sleeping until noon!
I have a couple of things I can do if I feel like I might binge again. A hot bath is good for lots of things. I can blog. Yes Ron I should have blogged after the first bad day. Having one day of things not going how I'd hoped doesn't have to roll into 2 or 3.
I'm not taking a cold sandwich to work. Instead I'm going to have one of the yummy salads with grilled chicken and light dressing. I don't even have to pay for it right away, I can put it on my tab. How great is that!?!

Fell Flat on my Face

The last 3 days have been a miserable failure. I nibbled at work. Who can resist lukewarm fries that have been sitting for like half an hour and are about to be tossed in the trash. Apparently not me! Thursday was just bad...the whole day was one big bad day. I was out of the lunch meat I had to make sandwiches for work. My last apple was bad. So I had to scramble for something to pack for lunch at work. Work was super busy. I'm not sure but I think we were missing a person. At least it felt that way. I had to stop at the store on my way home to get another loaf of light bread. The mood I was in, if I had more money to spend I would have come home with a pint of ice cream and eaten the whole thing. Instead I remembered I had a can of crescent rolls. I didn't even bother to separate them and roll them up. I threw the whole roll of dough on a pan and let it bake. While it was baking I ate a sleeve of Ritz crackers. I should just bought the d*mn ice cream.
36 Ritz crackers and a whole can of crescent rolls = 1520 calories
One pint of ice cream = 600 calories
A hundred little things just got to me and I caved. Work was crazy the past couple of days, it's been really cold and I hate winter, payday is still several days away and have less than $1 in my wallet, and it getting to be that time of the month so PMS has arrived.
My money situation gets me the most. I used make a lot more than I do now. The rent, water, gas, etc are paid and there's enough food in the kitchen. But I don't have money to just go buy something when I want it. There's still "bad" food in there. I didn't want to wait to start getting healthier. There's a million things I want from the grocery store. And it frustrates me to have to wait.
BUT even though I have fallen flat on my face I will get back up. The food in the kitchen is not exactly health food but it'll have to do for now. When payday rolls around, you better believe I'll be stocking my kitchen with fish, chicken, frozen veggies, fresh fruit, fat free yogurt, healthy cereals and snacks.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Monday-Weigh In

I had an ah ha moment. It was realizing I still had 3/4 of a giant (4.25 oz) chocolate bar. Normally I would have finished the whole thing in a day. When I saw it the other day, I had almost forgotten I had it. I tried to remember what day exactly I got it. I had to go back in my food journal to see when it showed up. I bought it a week ago today and had 2 pieces of it that night. Plus I still have a dozen mini brownies I baked on the 22nd,those are in the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind. It showed me that my mindset is changing. I love chocolate just as much as before, but I can be satisfied with a small amount. I really can have just a taste. The second bite of cake or pie doesn't taste any better than the first.
I don't particularly care for oatmeal. I know it's good for you and I have a large container of oatmeal so I'd better use it. Letting it go bad wouldn't be very frugal of me. I had heard great things about baked oatmeal so I decided I would try it. I divided the recipe in half since I'm the only one who would really eat it. The roomie despises anything halfway healthy. I used 1% milk instead of soymilk and brown sugar instead of maple syrup since that's what I have on hand. I also added 2 Tbsp of Splenda, 1/8 cup brown sugar didn't seem like much. It was pretty good. I didn't care for the raisins. I might make this again with a few tweaks. There are other recipes for baked oatmeal I will try out.
I had a really bad dream last night. In it I was weighing myself and somehow I weighed 252. It gives me chills just thinking about it.
Today is Monday which means weigh in. Today I'm at 230. Total lost so far 10 lbs. I'm not sure why I'm not happier about it. Maybe because I've done this before. Losing 10 lbs I can do. I've done it dozens of times. Keeping it off and continuing to lose is the real challenge. I know I'll be really excited when I get to 215. That number I haven't seen in more than 6 years.
To those of you who read this, Thank You! This blog started as a way to keep track of my progress. A place I can put pics and stats. Somewhere I can vent about the skinny b*tches who drink half a milkshake then complain about being bad cause they are so fat. Since I know people actually read this thing, I feel accountable. I feel supported. I know I'm not alone in my struggles to lose weight and become healthier. Maybe with my blog I will inspire someone to make the change in their own life to become healthier. Other blogs made me realize it's not going to happen overnight, I don't need to spend 6 hours at the gym everyday, I don't need a personal chef and a personal trainer, I will slip up but I only fail if I don't get back up.
Most of all I know people are watching me and I can't quit.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Three Steps Forward, One Step Back

Yesterday I ate way too much, a common problem on Thanksgiving I'm sure. I allowed myself extra calories so I wouldn't feel deprived and I went over that. I'm not about to feel bad about it though. This is a lifestyle change not a diet. There will be times when I will eat more than I really should. If I allowed myself to feel guilty about overindulging, I'd most likely throw in the towel saying... Well I can't stick with it, I'm just going to be fat forever.
To help myself deal with Thursday's indiscretion, I thought of a few reasons why I overate and what I could do next time I'm faced with the same situation.
I didn't have to work. At work I'm busy, there's always something to do. Also at work, every chance I get I'm sucking down Diet Pepsi. I know I didn't drink enough Thursday. I need to mix up some Crystal Light so I have something other than Diet Pepsi to drink. I have plenty of things to do at home to keep me busy too. I could have taken the dog for a walk.
I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, they were reduced fat. I had 3, should've just had 2. Next time if there are any left after the roomie gets what he wants I'll throw them in the trash and spray it with cleaner. LOL
Shortly after breakfast I went to the kitchen for a Diet Pepsi. I saw the Pringles can and just had to have some. Next time I will put them away as soon as I get home from the store. Out of sight, out of mind!
Before dinner I really wanted some chocolate milk. I had a really big glass (2 cups). Next time I will have one cup and if I'm still thirsty I can drink water.
By the time dinner rolled around I knew I had gone over my allotment. I figured since I blew it for the day I'd just eat whatever I wanted. I ate twice the normal amount. Next time I will eat a normal portion. Reaching my calorie limit before dinner is no reason to keep going further in the hole. So to speak.
I counted every calorie. I consumed as many calories at dinner as I did for breakfast, lunch and a snack. (BTW, I love the Fiber One peanut butter and oatmeal bars!) On the bright side, I figure I took in less calories Thursday than I would have on any given day before I started this transformation.
Today I'm back at it. I need to take food with me to work so I have a healthy option. Also it will be cheaper than buying something everyday.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I feel like a stick in the mud cause I'm counting calories on Thanksgiving. I'm giving myself a few extra calories for the day.
I'm thankful that even though this past year has been rough and a lot has changed I still have a roof over my head and enough food in my kitchen.
I'm thankful that my cat, Pollie, has somehow found her way back home and I know someone was caring for her. After she and Sophie get adjusted to each other, Pollie will go on a diet also.
I'm thankful for having the opportunity to go back to school to get more job skills so my career choices go beyond minimum wage fast food jobs.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Eat Well!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday Weigh-In

It's Monday. It's raining outside. I gotta do a drive by posting. I have to run and get my cat from my old vets office.
Weight today...236
Total loss so far 4 lbs.
The last few days I've had the "I wants". I want a digital food scale. I want a bowflex. I want a scale that measures body fat too. A few things I will get for myself by Christmas. The bigger things will have to wait until I have more money and more room.
I'm off to get my long lost baby Pollie.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Side tracked but now back on plan

I got side tracked for a couple of days. Wed afternoon my sister picked me up. She wanted me to stay at her house for 3 or 4 days to help her clean. Her boyfriend was wanting to move in. Cleaning up her kitchen and living room was like playing hide and seek with junk food. Bags of chips were uncovered near her computer desk, on the couch under coats, by the recliner. She had a huge variety of little debbie cakes, along with other cookies laying around the kitchen. Needless to say I sampled a lot. I don't keep cookies and chips at my house because I know I would finish a bag a day. Well I take that back. There are chips in this house. My roomie has flamin hot Cheetos, which I absolutely will not touch. I don't like those even a little.
Everything I ate at my sisters Wed, I wrote down in my food journal. It wasn't that bad. I checked in at a little over 1400 for the day. Thursday I didn't write anything down. Late Thursday night I went back home. Friday I got up and ate a big bowl of cocoa pebbles for breakfast. I went running around town. I stopped and ate at Wendy's. I had 2 double stacks and a large Coke Zero. I rarely, if ever eat fries at fast food places. I also had a small cheese pizza and a large glass of chocolate milk later that night.
I've already paid the price for detouring from my plan. I woke up in the middle of the night with heartburn.
I went to the store yesterday and loaded up on apples, carrots, light wheat bread, 1% milk, boneless skinless chicken tenders, and diet pepsi. Today I am on plan.
In the middle of writing this, there was a knock on the door. It was my mail carrier. I had to sign for a certified letter. I wondered who was sending me a certified letter. The letter was from the vets office I took my animals to before I moved last year. I thought maybe I owed them money or since I hadn't been there in over a year they were going to shred my files or something. The letter said they had a cat with a rabies tag number matching a cat I had taken there in the past. I bawled. I gave up hope a long time ago that I'd ever see her again. I thought she was dead.
After my husband moved out last year I tried to keep the house, but it wasn't working. My sisters kept my boxer Rock. One of my cats went to another home. I kept my Pollie with me. I moved in with an elderly woman in early Nov. Her sons wanted someone with her all the time. Pollie wasn't allowed in the house, but I brought her in at night anyway. I wasn't about to let my baby stay outside all night long in the cold. The Friday before Christmas I let her out in the morning and I never saw her again. I hoped someone saw her and picked her up thinking she was a stray. I was afraid she'd been hit by a car or eaten by a wild animal. I was out in the country. And now here it is almost a year later and my little Pollie is sitting at my old vets office waiting for me to bring her home again. I have so many questions. Few of which, I know, will be answered. Now I just have to be patient and wait, the vets office won't be open until Monday. Patience is never easy for me especially when it's something like this.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Before Pics

I finally got around to taking and posting what will be the before pictures. I have always hated having my picture taken. At family get togethers when the camera came out, I would duck outside or into the bathroom. Inevitably someone would catch me off guard and get a shot. Things got better for me when digital cameras came out. If someone got me, I would wait until they set the camera down. Then I would erase the pics of me. I ticked off more than one relative by doing this.
I had to stop myself from deleting these pics after I took them. I said nope, not good pics, you can see my fat round face, my double chin, the spare tire I've got under my boobs. Then I thought if those were camouflaged, the results at the end wouldn't be as dramatic.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mile Walk

I just finished my mile walk and man was it cold outside. I was tempted to turn around and go home before I even got to the end of my street. I was facing the wind so that didn't help. I was faster than I thought I would be, especially since I took Rock with me.
I walked my mile in 24 minutes. Which means my pace was 2.5 mph. According to this I burned 103 calories.
My exercise plan for the moment is to walk a mile Tues - Thur - Sat. Do the 100 push ups program Mon - Wed - Fri.

I also wanted to mention that I'm taking One a Day Weight Smart Advanced multivitamin. I think it's a good idea to take a daily multivitamin. I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, this is just my opinion.

*Note to self: Don't forget the Chapstick on Thursday's walk!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Plan

Today is officially day 3 of the magical transformation. I just wanted to highlight on what it is exactly that I will be doing.

I decided Friday night that I was going to do a week long induction. I needed a jump start to this. So I searched the internet and gathered little tid bits of information. Of course I have a wealth of weight loss info in my head already. I will keep my calorie count at 1,000. Unhealthy? Nah. Not for just a week. Once I start exercising for real, I will go up to 1,200 or maybe 1,500 calories. And with the extra 200-500 calories, I will feel like I'm eating like a queen. I might even put real butter on my morning toast.

Nothing is off limits. If I really want it, I will work it in. This part is going to require lots of self control and a few tricks. I may even need to invest in a garbage disposal since I no longer will play the role. I will find healthier versions of the things I like.

Also the usual like drink more water. Eat more fruits and veggies. It disturbs me to think that I can go days without eating a single fruit or veggie. Well unless you count the sprinkle of lettuce you get on a burrito when you make a run for the border. When I make an effort to eat better I focus on fruit and veggies. I ate an apple yesterday. The first one in a long time. It was so good! If you heard me you'd think I was eating a sinfully rich chocolaty dessert. I love fruit and I don't know why I don't eat it more often. I mean do Cheetos and Reese cups really taste that good?

Yesterday I figured out how far I would have to walk around my neighborhood to equal a mile. I can time myself to see how long it takes to walk a mile then work on getting faster. Then when that's easy (relatively speaking) I'll make it 2 miles. A blog I like has a link to a program that builds you up to 100 push ups. I will start that soon.
There is a gym close to me that I'm going to check out after the New Year. Hopefully by then I will have extra money for a membership and maybe they will offer a discount to encourage people who ate their weight in turkey and Christmas cookies to come in.

One last bit of info. My official weigh in will be Mondays. And since it's Monday...
Weight today..... 239

The Beginning

First a little about me.

I'm Amy. I am 30 years old and I'm overweight. I have PCOS and maybe an under active thyroid. I say maybe because I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 19. But when I went to a new doctor in September he did blood work and found my thyroid tests to be in the normal range. I haven't taken any meds for months and I feel fine. So maybe by the awesome power of wishful thinking to be healthy and normal, I have healed myself.
Humm...what else can I say about myself? I'm sarcastic. I have a weird sense of humor. I have a gorgeous 3 yr old male boxer, Rock. And a crazy adorable 6 month old female kitten,Sophie. That's them in the pic at the top. And yes they curl up together for a nap on a regular basis. Sophie is crazy and the most unusual cat I have ever had...she fits right in with us. I'm single for the most part, my divorce will be final sometime after the first of the year.
Nearly everything about me is changing. I went back to school and I will start a new job soon. Before next summer I will go back to school so I can become a phlebotomist. And, the reason for starting this blog, I am losing weight.
I have tried and failed at hundreds of diets. After years of trying the latest and greatest new thing that comes along I have finally realized ....DIETS DON'T WORK. Sure I'd lose 5, 10 or even 50 pounds. Then when I tried to go back to normal eating I would fail. To me being on a diet means being deprived of all the foods I really enjoy. I hate feeling deprived. And I would always gain weight before starting a new diet. I'd think, OK Monday I start my new diet so I have to eat all the things I will really miss, one last time. The weekend before I started the new miracle diet that would change my life would be a free for all, no holds barred, stuff your face, pig out, binge. I would go buy things I hadn't had in months because this was it. I was 'never' going to have that unhealthy food again.

'My breaking point'

Before I go any further let me say, I really am doing this to be healthier. Losing weight would help the symptoms of my PCOS. I have borderline high blood pressure. My father died of a heart attack when he was 40. My grandfather died of a heart attack the year before my dad, he was in his 60's. I have insulin resistance due to the PCOS and my family's health history is littered with diabetes. With that said...
My breaking point came in two parts. The first was the morning I got dressed, buttoned my jeans and couldn't breath. It was so uncomfortable. I had to use the old ponytail trick I heard my preggo friends talk about when they were outgrowing their regular clothes but were still too small for maternity clothes. It was shameful to me.
The second shocking moment was after I dyed my hair. Yes, at the tender age of 30 I have dozens of gray hairs. I was checking out my hair using two mirrors. I always feel like I might have left a streak uncolored. I didn't have a shirt on. I was looking at the back of my head when I saw it.

I was shocked.

I nearly cried.

I had back fat rolls. *GASP*

I am not in denial about how overweight I am. OK, maybe just a little. I do not think I'm still the size 10 girl I was in high school. Between Jr and Sr year I lost maybe 50 lbs. I don't know for sure since I never weighed myself then. I went from a 16 to a 10 (8 in some things). But I never thought I would see the day that I had fat rolls on my back.
Beginning stats
Height.......... 5'7"
Weight, fluctuates between 240 and 245, but I'm making my Official Starting weight 240
BMI.............. 37.6
Pants size.... 20 (a tight 20 at that)
Shirts .......... 2X
Waist........... 46 inches (OMG!...around the belly button,between the upper and lower rolls)
Hips............. 45 inches (right at the top of the pubic line under my gut)
Bust............. 44 inches (under the BB's)
Chest........... 42 1/2 inches (above the BB's)
Right above the knee.... 19 inches
Upper thigh.... 26 inches
Upper arm.. 15 inches
Neck............ 17 inches
Long Term Goals
Height..... 5'9" (kidding, it would be nice though, 10 less lbs to lose LOL)
Weight.... 145 (might adjust this as I go)
Measurements, I have no idea what a realistic goal would be. I don't expect to measure a "perfect" 36-24-36. I think the waist measurement is supposed to be under 32 inches for women. Don't hold me to that though.
Fitness, lots of things I want to be able to do down the line as far as fitness goes. I want to be able to do 100 push ups. I want to be able to RUN for miles, without stopping and gasping for air. I'd love to compete in a 5K race. I want to increase my strength. I don't expect to bench press 150 lbs, but I want the 40 lb bag of dog food to be effortless.
Small Short Term Goals
I'm the type of person who, if I dwell on the 95 pounds I have to lose, will get discouraged and quit. So I am going to focus on losing 10 pounds at a time.
I have a lot of bad habits to break and good habits to pick up. If I were to tackle them all at once I would end up quitting. So I will pick something every week or two. I will focus on making a good habit second nature and a bad habit a distant memory.
Join me, won't you, on my journey to a healthier slimmer me!